


Falling

by AMidnightDreary



Series: Vormir [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Established Relationship, M/M, Sad Ending, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25707184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMidnightDreary/pseuds/AMidnightDreary
Summary: Tony and Loki on Vormir.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Vormir [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865047
Comments: 68
Kudos: 163





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Oops?

Tony sits down on the nearest rock. He feels like he aged a hundred years in the last thirty minutes. He feels like he's dreaming, stuck in one of his nightmares - those in which you run and run and run away from something that's hunting you, but somehow you don't move a single inch. And the thing behind you just keeps coming closer. It's already breathing down your neck.

He looks at what feels like the edge of the world. This is a strange, surreal place, and the wish to be somewhere else is so strong that he can't breathe. He knows that he won't leave this planet, though, he knows that if one of them has to die, it will be him. He won't accept anything else.

Loki is still talking to the guardian of the stone. Has been talking to him for twenty minutes now, but Tony already knows that even Loki's silvertongue won't be of use here.

Tony should jump now. Because now Loki is distracted, now he probably wouldn't make it to Tony in time to keep him from falling. But just as Tony decided that that is what he has to do, Loki leaves the guardian be and comes over to Tony, stopping several steps away from where Tony is sitting.

“Anthony,” he says.

Tony glances at him. Sees Loki's wide, frustrated eyes, the hard line of his mouth. Loki has managed to talk himself out of everything yet, but he didn't manage to talk them out of this.

“I know,” Tony says. “I know. It's alright.”

The wind is tugging at Loki's hair making a mess out of it. “No. It's not.”

“But we don't have a choice, do we?” Tony huffs a laugh. “The others count on us. If one of us doesn't return with this stone, everything will -”

"Everything will stay exactly as it was," Loki interrupts. 

Tony knows Loki inside out. They spent the last five years together, both of them bitter and lonely, and their house at the lake quickly became a sanctuary for both of them. Sex was the next logical step, and love followed soon after. Tony  _ knows _ Loki. He's seen him laugh and cry and break, he can read Loki's thoughts just by taking a look at his face, he knows and loves everything he is, although Loki is a complicated mess even on good days.

Tony can't remember ever seeing Loki this desperate.

“We can't do that,” Tony tells him, as softly as he can. “We can't, Lokes, you know that.”

Loki’s mouth twitches. He doesn’t say anything. He was against this entire ordeal, didn’t want to risk what they had found for a minimal chance of bringing the entire half of the universe back to life.  _ That’s selfish, Lo, _ Tony told him, and Loki just said,  _ I don’t care.  _ He looked so scared, so utterly  _ terrified _ when Tony figured out time travel, and he tried his very best to convince Tony not to tell a single other soul about it.

Tony had lost Peter, though, and Pepper and Happy; his head still spins whenever he thinks of all the people who just - vanished. And he knows that Loki thinks about Thor, too, very often. He saw his brother turn into dust, after all. Still, Loki is just here because he didn’t want Tony to do this alone.

It would be easy, of course, to just leave and return to their own time, their own planet. But Tony knows that he wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt. It’s been already wearing him down the last five years, and he wants it to  _ end.  _

“Anthony,” Loki says again, but Tony shakes his head.

He runs a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. He's almost as exhausted as he was in that spaceship, and he is just as ready to die as he was back then. “I'll do it.”

“No,” Loki says, at once. “You will not.”

Tony looks at him again and is surprised to see that the desperation is gone. Loki’s face is blank except for the barely there frown, and Tony knows immediately that Loki is planning something. “Loki -”

“You are better than me, you know,” Loki cuts him off, his tone thoughtful, almost light. “You’ve always been.”

Tony is already on his feet, moving to stand between Loki and the cliff, glaring at him. “I won’t let you do it, Loki. I  _ won’t. _ You and Bruce are the only ones who even stand a  _ chance _ at using the stones without dying, and you -” 

His tongue stumbles, because he wants to say so many selfish things. He wants to say that Loki is brilliant, that Tony loves him, that he can’t imagine being in a universe where Loki just  _ isn’t _ anymore. That he’s not allowed to sacrifice himself for Tony, solely because  _ that _ guilt will be worse than everything else. He wants Loki to know that seeing him die would make Tony shatter into pieces.

“Anthony,” Loki fills the pause, and his gentle voice fills Tony with dread. “I already jumped.”

Tony stares at him, unable to make sense of that. He doesn’t breathe, he doesn’t even  _ think _ , and finally, finally he notices that the wind is not tugging at Loki’s hair anymore.

“No,” Tony says, angry, and walks up to Loki, already reaching out for him. “ _ No, _ you’re right -”

His hand goes through Loki’s chest as if it isn’t even there.

“You’re right here,” Tony ends, faintly. His voice breaks. “Loki -”

“It’s fine,” the illusion says, smiling. “I’m sure it didn’t hurt.”

Tony stares at it, at those green eyes he knows so well. He knows this trick. He’s seen it before. Loki can feed his illusions with so much energy that they can keep going even though Loki isn’t anywhere near them anymore, even though he is unconscious. 

And, apparently, also even though he is dead.

Tony is getting dizzy. His sight is blurring at the edges, and he thinks about Loki jumping while Tony was sitting on a rock and not even  _ looking _ at Loki, he thinks about Loki jumping even though if there’s one thing Loki is scared of, it’s heights. It’s falling.  _ Falling. _

“I think you have to go now,” the illusion says, so kindly, so lovingly. 

It’s Loki’s voice, it is, but Loki is not here anymore. The illusion is already flickering, starting to become see-through. And Tony feels like he is flickering himself, like he’s fading, and just a few seconds later, everything disappears.

When he wakes up with an infinity stone in his hand, he is alone.


End file.
